It's Wednesday and so far I've been great on spending for the week. I've eaten lunch every day at work.
Yesterday I spent:
$4.69 at Vons. I swung by the store on my way to SB's baseball game to pick him up a post-game snack as well as his lunch for tomorrow (since I knew he would be finishing late and I didn't want him to have to go to the store at 9 PM). These items were not essential for me as they were all for SB but it's my job to take care of my man as much as I can! Unfortunately, it meant that I was late to the game and missed his home run!
So, I have a bit of a dilemma. . .
My brother's girlfriend, C, is graduating with her Ph.D this June. They have both individually gone out of their way to invite me and tell me how much it would mean to have me there for the commencement and graduation celebration. Andy (yup, my bro's name really IS Andy - well, Andrew!) and C have been together for about 3 years now and I adore them as a couple. But here's the problem: I'd have to fly to Oregon - Eugene, specifically - for the festivities. Eugene is a small city and not many flights connect to the airport. Also, my mom is planning on going.
Cost to attend: $350-400 for a round trip ticket plus $50 for food and incidentals. I can stay with my brother for free.
This graduation conflicts with Jason and Tanice's wedding. Jason is SB's best friend and SB is going to be his best man. The ceremony is going to take place here in San Diego. SB and J have known each other over 10 years and as a couple we hang out with both of them about once a month. Individually, SB and J hang out together one to two times a week.
Cost to attend: nothing except maybe a new dress ($50) or I can maybe get away with wearing an old one. Ceremony will take place about 10 minutes from home.
So, which one do I attend? SB doesn't have an opinion and has left it completely up to me. He's open to me going to Eugene and missing J's wedding even if that meant he wouldn't have a date.
This is a hard one! Both of these are once in a lifetime events! One one hand, I'd be missing Christine being hooded and all the Pomp and Circumstance that goes along with it. On the other I'd be missing J and T's wedding!
I think what makes it difficult to decide is that both individuals are sort of peripheral. I'm very close to my brother and of course SB is the love of my life and I care about his friends - but the events aren't happening to either of THEM specifically . . .
Andy has said that this is the girlfriend that is going to be my sister-in-law. In fact, he is moving from San Francisco to Los Angeles this fall to live with her when she moves down to start her first job at a university there. Therefore, long term, C could be in my life for a very long time . . .
Decisions, decisions!
For selfish reasons I'm leaning towards attending the wedding. That $350-$400 is a lot of money and I'm trying to save for an emergency fund, pay off my credit, AND save for a Hawaii trip with SB. That money would make a major dent in my pocket.
On the other hand, family is a huge priority to me and Andy and I have an extremely close relationship. I'd hate to disappoint him.
Thoughts? Suggestions? What would you do if you had to choose?
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
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3 comments:
I don't know if this will make you feel any better (or if it just makes me a bad sister, lol), but I had to miss my sister's graduation from Medical school because I was in another state and couldn't afford to fly home. (Plus, I had finals that week.)
I think in the end your brother or SIL won't hate you (from the sound of it, I think they'd understand). You might be sad about having missed it (I know I was for a while), but think of it this way...how many months of payments can you eliminate with those $400 from the flight? My sister doesn't resent me in any way for having missed it. I think if you explain you really can't pay for it, they'll understand. Especially if you explain to them what you're trying to do with your finances and eliminate debt. Now, if you decide its worth that money, its a personal choice and you're allowed to choose either way. =)
If it was me I'd go to the wedding, not because I was choosing them over my brother/SIL, but because I wouldn't have the money to fly up there in the first place.
It is a tough choice...good luck with whichever way you go!
I think you should talk to your family about your dilemma and see what they say. Financially, it makes more sense to go to the wedding, however, you should schedule a weekend home to celebrate with C (or invite her and your brother to visit you) when you don't have a conflict, and can possibly find a deal on a flight.
Honestly, if you tell your brother that you can't afford to fly home for something that is important to him and C but have the money to go to Hawaii with SB.... well, it looks like what it is: that you're putting what you want to do before spending time with your family. That isn't necessarily a bad thing. You just have to be comfortable with what it is (and how it appears).
I would write C a very nice handwritten letter congratulating her and wishing that you could be there for her graduation. I would buy her a nice gift and mail it. I know it is tough, but I really think you should be rational. I really do think she will understand.
Plus, SB may tell you that it is totally up to you which you decide upon, however, I think he would really really LOVE if you were his date to the wedding. I know I would feel awkward without Jaci as my date to a wedding, however, that is not saying much because I am pretty co-dependent on her as it is! LOL.
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